Health Shaming

I don’t know who needs to hear this but…there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel (and look) your best. Prioritizing your health and wellness goals from a genuine desire to live your best life, feel good in your own skin, tap into your powerful source energy, or any other deeper purpose is incredible and you should be celebrated for it- not shamed or diminished.

At some point between when the health and wellness craze first started taking social media by storm through where we are today another culture bubbled up that is best described as health shaming. Where instead of celebrating people for moving into healthier lifestyles and prioritizing their overall well-being we decided it was too extreme and they should be seeking balance instead. Do what makes you happy in the moment. “Treat yo-self”. And while balance is absolutely key and an integral component of living your best life, it has been done in a way that makes people feel ‘bad’ for making healthy choices.

Now, a core portion of this topic that needs to be mentioned is that if, in fact, a person’s health goals were taken to the extreme and coming from a place of obsession and restriction (been there), then this is a time when balance is essential and treating yourself can be exactly what you need. In that case, I’d recommend finding your best ally in a health or life coach (hi!) who can help uncover exactly where your goals are coming from and why they’ve blossomed from something with a seemingly positive intention to something that’s now overwhelming.

However, there’s a large subset of the healthy-living community that is truly looking to heal ailments, wake up clearer, or has developed a deep connection to their physical body and knows exactly what they need to thrive. I have been able to move out of place of restrictive behavior into a balanced/intuitive understanding of my body, along with where my health desires come from, and prioritize them with love and compassion. Through that process, the thing I struggled with most was this ‘health shaming’ and, in turn, ended up internally shaming myself into making decisions that I knew would make me feel lethargic or unwell later.

This can show up as people preparing you foods outside of your typical eating habits, constantly commenting that you’ve “make such healthy choices” or “exercise so much”, or forcefully handing you something you’ve declined repeatedly. Hell, it can even be making outright comments about your body (also been there). Maybe you’ve experienced this and have developed a resilience or thicker skin to it all. For me, the change happened when I cultivated a radical shift in my thought patterns referring back to the beginning of this article. A daily reminder to myself that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel (and look) your best. Sometimes I would tell myself it was vain if I wanted to look and feel my strongest and most comfortable in order to feel better about not treating myself and my body with the respect it deserved- a result the exhaustion of being shamed for my lifestyle choices.

This ‘health shaming’ behavior stems from a handful of places. The first, and likely most common, is projection. People who make comments about your habits or attempt to force you into making decisions similar to theirs are looking to feel better about themselves. They may specifically feel bad for not prioritizing their wellness or simply don’t feel good in their skin and that outward display is often shown as righteousness or putting down something that actively reminds them of this internal dialogue. It has nothing to do with you and often, I’m sure, they are envious of your strength and dedication to cultivating the life you desire.

You do not need to alter your decisions to please others or make them feel better about what they choose to do. No matter how much effort you put forth you will end up exhausted because you cannot control another person’s thought patterns or emotions. All you can do is focus on your own and maybe that will empower them to dig deeper and understand why they’re forcing this behavior or shame onto someone else. So, the next time you are ordering out at a table full of people and someone makes a comment about your meal and/or you want to quietly make adjustments to the menu items to your server, do it with pride. Stand up for yourself and your decisions. There is nothing more empowering than knowing the place that your choices come from and where you want to be in your life and how to achieve that.

It can sometimes be helpful to sit yourself down and really understand why you put your health first, why these decisions are best for you, etc. Knowing yourself and your goals fully arms you with the strength to stay on track, to tell others with love and excitement what inspires you to live this way, and allows you to stand your ground without wavering or feeling the need to give in. Food and nourishment are meant to be celebrated! No matter what path someone has chosen. It is a communal exchange and expression of culture, love, and a life force. Introduce those around you to new thought patterns from a place of personal awareness and vibrancy- a true desire to share and feel grounded in your healthful choices.

Have you experience this ‘health shaming’? Do you have any tips for moving forward through these situations? Drop a comment, I’d love to learn about your journey!

Cheers to healthy living!